Instinctual Collages

posted on 8 Aug 2024

Collages composed of images you are drawn to can showcase your instinctual preferences in typology systems.

These are a collection of some I’ve created. At first I was oblivious of where to get images that were satisfying to me, so I had to opt for art I was already familiar with in Manga, Anime, or Games.

Eventually, I made a pinterest and began refining my algorithm to get pictures that captured a more refined aesthetic and allowed me to create certain ideas. True to myself, I thought discovering Pinterest was some revolutionary breakthrough, but it turned out that I was the last one aboard.

Nihei anguish/body transformation/destruction of beauty/emptiness.

Breaking Away

posted on 4 Aug 2024

I’ve been reading “Mastery” by Robert Greene recently and it has spawned a host of new ideas in my head. One of the prevailing themes in this book is finding your true calling or genuine interest in a topic, which Greene calls your “Life’s Task.” Most people have a subject or activity that interested them greatly in childhood, or perhaps a collection of things that make them unique or more inclined toward certain perceptions and modes of thinking that set them apart from the average. On the other side of the spectrum, there are people who possess remarkable disadvantages and as a result of having to work around their deficiencies, end up finding their life’s task and coming out of the other side as deeply fulfilled and right where they were destined to be.

Reality Distortion

posted on 12 Apr 2024

There used to be a clear separation between the internet and non-digital-reality. It’s difficult to tell exactly when the convergence took place, but real life and the internet have been fused together in people’s consciousness.

There was a time when what was on the screen was “out there” and had nothing to do with you. Toxicity and opinions have always existed, but there was once more of a separation between this compartmentalized aspect of existence and one’s own life. There was a time when the masses as a whole seemed to shrug off the insanity they would see on a screen as a byproduct of the medium. But now, it’s a direct extension of people’s worlds and they are so tightly enmeshed in it they can’t escape. It has become their community and a replacement for social instinct. They’ve become fused.

Reading some of the ways that people react in forums and social media, I can’t help but feel that it’s an extension of their own physical space. It’s as if someone has barged into their house and is threatening them with violence when someone else states an opinion that differs from the imaginary boundaries of normality people are attaching to. I imagine them sitting there at their computer screen, adrenaline pumping through their veins as they stare at pixels. The pixels are stimulating chemicals in their brain; the brain cannot tell it’s fake. It’s a simulated catastrophe. It explains why people’s first reaction to anything out of the ordinary is to begin recording it with an item that’s now an extension of their own body as they dissociate from what’s really in front of them. They hide in a more familiar and comfortable medium.

People are asleep when they aren’t inhabiting their digital space. I see this as I drive by people eveyday who seem to be completely disconnected from reality, staring into the distance, almost drooling as they passively drive a multi-ton death machine.

A Plague Tale: Requiem

posted on 10 Nov 2023

I’m not entirely sure how this is going to come out given that I hardly remember the last time I wrote a review. There came a point where I no longer wanted to expose what was inside to the outside, including my own perception of whatever I was experiencing. Why bother? Finishing Requiem gave me reason to write a review again; it’s not very often I manage to finish a video game these days. Most of them are bland and I feel no desire to, I simply uninstall. Depression can’t be the sole cause of everything.

I remember when I played the first Plague Tale. It must’ve been back in October or November of 2019. I certainly remember that it was fall, at the very least. The game was so good that I’d think about it all day at work and then make my way home through the colorful leaves and crisp cool air to play it. I was enthralled, and I even noted on my last review that a game hasn’t captured me like that since I was a kid.

Fragmentation

posted on 31 Oct 2023

It is now October of 2023. Writing this, the feeling is coming up again. That there is no point to this. That I have nothing to say. Nothing substantive. The inclination comes up as I remember my past and how I felt at one point writing, and then before my finger even hits the first key, it collapses into nothingness. I become devoid of all desire to share my thoughts. Things are not what I thought they were. The inside cannot be exposed to the outside.